Saturday, March 9, 2013

Communication 

We talked the communication between a family. An example of poor communication between a husband and wife, when one of them share their daily life, they would usually pretend they are really listening and react as "Really?","Oh", "Um" these kind of words. Last night, my roommates shared their experience. She was giving a talk in sacrament meetings, after that, a guy came and said to her that her talk is so good and inspiring. But when my roommate asked what did he learn, he couldn't say  anything. This is what we call "faker". We were asked to write down how to improve communication, I wrote down listen more,practice more, another way to improve communication is by being clear. Make sure you understand what you want to say before you start stay positive, phrase your ideas and suggestions in a positive, rather than critical way. And the last one is listen actively, make sure you understand what the other person is trying to say. And see if you got it. Do not get so preoccupied planning what you will say next that you do not pay attention. And the second question is what communication impediments do I need to avoid, I wrote down don't be afraid to ask them to repeat, don't try other corrections,it is tempting to play armchair speech therapist and say "slow down" or "take a deep breath"; this does not actually help, and often only makes the person nervous, which aggravates the problem. And the last one is don't finish sentences, unless you are in a romantic relationship so close that it's cute when you finish each others sentences, someone with a speech impediment would prefer to get the words out on their own. You wouldn't want someone second-guessing your thoughts.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Intimacy

      Intimacy is the basic human needs, the family of origin is the people who are the most close to you, it can be grandparents, an interesting term called "nuclear family", which is the mum, dad, and child. We also talked about different kinds of theory. The basic one is the system theory. Basically it is about asserts that the intimate group must be analyzed as a whole, this group has boundaries that distinguish it from other groups. And other things I learned are that most theoretical perspectives and important part used to study intimate relationships are borrowed from other disciplines, one of the theory is interesting to me, that is the conflict theory. It is about asserts that all societies are characterized by inequality, conflict, and change as a groups within the society struggle over scarce resources. What I think of this theory is that When the family is dissected and sources of conflict and power identified, the family then can find better and more effective ways to communicate. Understanding can lead to a desire for change and motivate family members to participate to develop more positive relationships. Through the study of the family dynamics, members may become more empathic and understanding of the underlying causes of their conflict.

      We also focused on family boundaries. It is the the lines that should separate the

different parts of a family. I think establishing boundaries within my  family is necessary to keep my sanity. Without boundaries to establish what I will and will not tolerate in my  family relationships, my loved ones may take advantage of me. This can lead to disappointment, frustration and broken relationships. The one thing I think of to help with it is to Create a list of non-negotiable rules that will be followed in the family no matter what. These could include policies such as being respectful of each others personal space or eating dinner together as a family at least twice per week. Knowing what you are not willing to compromise on will help you and your family set up appropriate boundaries.

Saturday, February 16, 23, 2013

married

Why people get married? There were many interesting answers, for examples: source of happiness, tired of waiting, they want a big wedding, to avoiding loneliness, and because it is a way of improving life getting away from negative environment. For me, the reason that we need to get married, is that getting married and create a family is the plan of God, and it is part of development.  In the text book, it talks about the patterns of family, like the size of family is getting smaller, lower birth rate, more people living alone, and increasing in the number of premarital sex among teens. I was really surprise this patterns, it telling  us that people in the would should do some avoid these thing, especially the premarital sex among teens, it is serious in the western countries.

Abuse problem in family (physical/mental)

Physical abuse is often the most easily recognized form of abuse. Physical abuse can be any kind of hitting, shaking, burning, pinching, biting, choking, throwing, beating, and other actions that cause physical injury, leave marks, or cause pain.

Emotional abuse can be the most difficult to identify because there are usually no outward signs of the abuse. Emotional abuse happens when yelling and anger go too far or when parents constantly criticize, threaten, or dismiss kids or teens until their self-esteem and feelings of self-worth are damaged. Emotional abuse can hurt and cause damage just as physical abuse does.

The effects of being abuse: Physical consequences, such as damage to a child's growing brain, can have psychological implications such as cognitive delays or emotional difficulties. Psychological problems often manifest as high-risk behaviors. Depression and anxiety, for example, may make a person more likely to smoke, abuse alcohol or illicit drugs, or overeat. High-risk behaviors, in turn, can lead to long-term physical health problems such as sexually transmitted diseases, cancer, and obesity.

 

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Family 

What I've been thinking of are that family is the very first institution God designed for mankind and is the basic unit of society. It is an eternal unit. On the other hand, I think we cannot survive without family supports. Last semester, I took a child education class, the teacher told us an experiment that had been done long time ago. Scientist raise up a baby with basic needs like food and changing diaper, but at the same time without hugging him or talk to him. Few weeks later, the baby was death. What this experiment trying to tell us is how family important to everyone, family provide love, survival skills, and safety for us.