Saturday, April 6, 2013

Divorce

Marriage is something that everyone will face during his or her upcoming lives, but divorce should not be a case due to a cause of dishonesty, or even a constant fighting mishap. In my opinion divorce should have never even came about in this society today. It should either be a done / done situation or a never happening issue. To this question, and me there is no wrong or right answer. Just a given opinion on what you think. I both agree and disagree with the meaning of divorce. I concur with divorce because people always make mistakes within their lives, and he or she will at some point move on to an agreement of divorcing. I as well, oppose this issue, because those who are couples should know what marriage is, and not abuse the love they have between one another. They should respect what marriage is, and make sure it is what they want before jumping into something they won’t want in the future. Before I read the book, I just thought divorce is a bad act and would cause eternal sadness for the couples, but actually, after the recover, people can still live happy and have another family. I found some cons reason of divorce and I thought it is really funny: Thanksgiving dinners with your family where you are the only one without a spouse or date. Valentine's Day with a different date other than New Year's eve date or none at all. You are too old to be in the singles classes and too single to be in the married classes at church.Before I took this class, I have no idea Hong Kong's culture is way different than The United States.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Same-Sex Marriage?

In class, we have been discussed about same sex marriage. Moreover, I think this is a good topic to talk about, so I did some research on it, there are so many debates on internet, that mention different pro and cons with it. For example pro on same sex marriage, it is no one else's business if two men or two women want to get married. Two people of the same sex who love each other should be allowed to publicly celebrate their commitment and receive the same benefits of marriage, as opposite sex couples, there is no such thing as traditional marriage. Given the prevalence of modern and ancient examples of family arrangements based on polygamy, communal child-rearing, the use of concubines and mistresses and the commonality of prostitution, heterosexual monogamy can be considered "unnatural” in evolutionary terms. On the other hands, the con on same sex marriage, the institution of marriage has traditionally been defined as between a man and a woman. In the Oct. 15, 1971 decision Baker v. Nelson, the Supreme Court of Minnesota found that "The institution of marriage as a union of man and woman, uniquely involving the procreation and rearing of children within a family, is as old as the book of Genesis.”

Saturday, March 23, 2013

 The purpose of parenting- Protect and prepare our children to survive and fly in the world, they are going to live in this world.

Parent is…

·Transmit values

·Practice, develop

·Godly qualities

·Learning

·Teach about God

·Become refined

·Provide protections

 “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” (Family Proclamation)

March 16, 2013 Saturday

 

Thoughts/ feelings….Encode…Media….Decode….Thought/ feelings

We should communicate so clearly, not only be understood, but we cannot be misunderstood.

There are some advantages of conflicts such as open your heart to others. Moreover, I know there are many couples divorced because of misunderstanding. “The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan…. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”(Family Proclamition) If people understand the importance of a family, we would rather solve the problem than easy to give up a relationship.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Communication 

We talked the communication between a family. An example of poor communication between a husband and wife, when one of them share their daily life, they would usually pretend they are really listening and react as "Really?","Oh", "Um" these kind of words. Last night, my roommates shared their experience. She was giving a talk in sacrament meetings, after that, a guy came and said to her that her talk is so good and inspiring. But when my roommate asked what did he learn, he couldn't say  anything. This is what we call "faker". We were asked to write down how to improve communication, I wrote down listen more,practice more, another way to improve communication is by being clear. Make sure you understand what you want to say before you start stay positive, phrase your ideas and suggestions in a positive, rather than critical way. And the last one is listen actively, make sure you understand what the other person is trying to say. And see if you got it. Do not get so preoccupied planning what you will say next that you do not pay attention. And the second question is what communication impediments do I need to avoid, I wrote down don't be afraid to ask them to repeat, don't try other corrections,it is tempting to play armchair speech therapist and say "slow down" or "take a deep breath"; this does not actually help, and often only makes the person nervous, which aggravates the problem. And the last one is don't finish sentences, unless you are in a romantic relationship so close that it's cute when you finish each others sentences, someone with a speech impediment would prefer to get the words out on their own. You wouldn't want someone second-guessing your thoughts.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Intimacy

      Intimacy is the basic human needs, the family of origin is the people who are the most close to you, it can be grandparents, an interesting term called "nuclear family", which is the mum, dad, and child. We also talked about different kinds of theory. The basic one is the system theory. Basically it is about asserts that the intimate group must be analyzed as a whole, this group has boundaries that distinguish it from other groups. And other things I learned are that most theoretical perspectives and important part used to study intimate relationships are borrowed from other disciplines, one of the theory is interesting to me, that is the conflict theory. It is about asserts that all societies are characterized by inequality, conflict, and change as a groups within the society struggle over scarce resources. What I think of this theory is that When the family is dissected and sources of conflict and power identified, the family then can find better and more effective ways to communicate. Understanding can lead to a desire for change and motivate family members to participate to develop more positive relationships. Through the study of the family dynamics, members may become more empathic and understanding of the underlying causes of their conflict.

      We also focused on family boundaries. It is the the lines that should separate the

different parts of a family. I think establishing boundaries within my  family is necessary to keep my sanity. Without boundaries to establish what I will and will not tolerate in my  family relationships, my loved ones may take advantage of me. This can lead to disappointment, frustration and broken relationships. The one thing I think of to help with it is to Create a list of non-negotiable rules that will be followed in the family no matter what. These could include policies such as being respectful of each others personal space or eating dinner together as a family at least twice per week. Knowing what you are not willing to compromise on will help you and your family set up appropriate boundaries.

Saturday, February 16, 23, 2013

married

Why people get married? There were many interesting answers, for examples: source of happiness, tired of waiting, they want a big wedding, to avoiding loneliness, and because it is a way of improving life getting away from negative environment. For me, the reason that we need to get married, is that getting married and create a family is the plan of God, and it is part of development.  In the text book, it talks about the patterns of family, like the size of family is getting smaller, lower birth rate, more people living alone, and increasing in the number of premarital sex among teens. I was really surprise this patterns, it telling  us that people in the would should do some avoid these thing, especially the premarital sex among teens, it is serious in the western countries.

Abuse problem in family (physical/mental)

Physical abuse is often the most easily recognized form of abuse. Physical abuse can be any kind of hitting, shaking, burning, pinching, biting, choking, throwing, beating, and other actions that cause physical injury, leave marks, or cause pain.

Emotional abuse can be the most difficult to identify because there are usually no outward signs of the abuse. Emotional abuse happens when yelling and anger go too far or when parents constantly criticize, threaten, or dismiss kids or teens until their self-esteem and feelings of self-worth are damaged. Emotional abuse can hurt and cause damage just as physical abuse does.

The effects of being abuse: Physical consequences, such as damage to a child's growing brain, can have psychological implications such as cognitive delays or emotional difficulties. Psychological problems often manifest as high-risk behaviors. Depression and anxiety, for example, may make a person more likely to smoke, abuse alcohol or illicit drugs, or overeat. High-risk behaviors, in turn, can lead to long-term physical health problems such as sexually transmitted diseases, cancer, and obesity.